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Why It's Hard to Get to the Better Version of Yourself


Expert Coaching on Being a Better Version Of Yourself

We seek to be better. Because we want better- We want to live better. We want to feel better. We want to look better. We want to be loved better.

We know that to achieve better, we need to be better- we need better hard skills (the technical stuff) and soft skills (the engagement how). We can buy classes to groom us in these areas like buying instant noodles. The trick is to do due diligence and pick the good ones. Look for social proof, search for reviews and proof of experience.

The harder of being better is not just acquiring performance skills, it includes developing the core inner sustaining power. A power than sustains your self-discipline to finish what you started. That power, so critical for our sustained success is constantly being eroded by our inner battles of good intentions.

There is a constant tug of war between our inspired need to move forward and our expired need to play safe. We are no more the hunter gatherers surviving on danger fraught terrains. The challenge is to diffuse the edgy side of our inner power that induces us to freeze, flee or fight at the rise of a new experience. The task is to calm things down, allowing our decision making faculty to assess and open our path to success.

Relying on the power of our will to overcome this debacle often falls below expectation and sucks the clarity out of us. More likely, we will be floored by mental exhaustion.

The key is to accept that all inner conflicts arise out of good intention. It is not to our lifetime good to dismiss warnings from the past. Neither is it profitable to allow past experience to dictate every facet of our future. The question, then, is, how do you maintain the delicate balance? How do you give your executive self the opportunity to balance risk and benefit? How do you reach and hold on to the self that allows you move progressively towards your desired definition of success and satisfaction?

Beats me.

Fortunately, we are blessed with gurus. Self-help gurus. And plenty of them. Spell all their names and you would have covered every letter in the alphabet a few times over. Again, we have to look at the performance propping the name.

For the focus of getting to the better you, let’s delve into a relevant work each from two renowned motivation gurus; Jack Canfield and Steve Chandler. Specifically, Canfield’s “How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be-The 25 Principles of Success” and Steve Chandler’s “Reinventing Yourself-How to Become the Person You’ve Always Wanted to Be.”

Self Help Guru, Jack Canfield
Jack Canfield

Canfield boasts W. Clement Stone, a great success story, and one of the founding fathers of the self-help movement, as his mentor. He has been at it for more than half a century, applying the Principles since 1968 with results that are stuff of dreams for most folks. Let’s get wowed by Canfield as he describes the success he has achieved, in a nutshell version:

“My success includes being the author and editor of over 60 best-selling books with over 100 million copies in print in 46 languages around the world, holding a Guinness Book world record for having seven books on the May 24, 1998, New York Times bestseller list, earning multimillion-dollar income every year for over the past 10 years, living in a beautiful California estate, appearing on every major talk show in America (from Oprah to good Morning America), having a weekly newspaper column read by millions every week, commanding speaking fees of $ 25,000 a talk, speaking to Fortune 500 companies all over the world, being recipient of numerous professional awards, having outrageous relationship with my amazing wife and wonderful children, and having achieved a steady state of wellness, balance, happiness, and inner peace.

I get to socialize with CEOs of fortune 500 companies; movie, television, and recording stars; celebrated authors; and the world’s finest spiritual teachers and leaders. I have spoken to members of the Congress, professional athletes, corporate managers, and sales superstars in all of the best resorts and retreat centers of the world-from the Four Seasons Resort in Nevis in the West Indies to the finest hotels in Acapulco and Cancun. I get to ski in Idaho, California and Utah, go rafting in Colorado, and hike in the mountains of California and Washington. And I get to vacation in the world’s best resorts in Hawaii, Australia, Thailand, Morocco, France, and Italy. All in all, life is a real kick!”


Master Coach, Steve Chandler
Steve Chandler

This is Steve Chandler about Steve Chandler from his book:

Steve Chandler is one of America’s best-selling authors whose eight books have been translated into more than 11 languages throughout Europe, China, Japan, and Latin America. Chandler’s first audiobook, 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, was named Chicago Tribune’s Audiobook of the Year 1997. King Features Syndicate repeated the honor by naming Chandler’s 35 Ways to Create Great Relationships the 1999 Audiobook of the Year.

Chandler has been a trainer and consultant to more than 40 Fortune 500 companies worldwide. He graduated from the University of Arizona with a degree in creative writing and political science, and spent four years in the U.S. Army in Language and Psychological Warfare.”

This is about Steve from his website, where he promotes his coaching business:

 “Although Steve Chandler graduated from the University of Arizona with a degree in Creative Writing and Political Science, and spent four years in the military studying language and psychological warfare; he credits his own life experiences with failure as the most valuable tools for helping others. Steve’s audiences are inspired by stories of his “low points” – it gives them hope, because they realize that they are not nearly as bad off as he was – they figure if Steve can transform his life, so can they!

     Steve Chandler is now the author of 30 books that have been translated into over 25 languages. His personal success coaching, public speaking and business consulting have been used by CEOs, top professionals, major universities, and over 30 Fortune 500 companies. He has twice won the national Audio of the Year award from King Features Syndicate. A popular guest on TV and radio talk shows, Steve Chandler has recently been called "the most powerful public speaker in America today."

Steve is also a master coach that has helped train hundreds of ocahces to transform many lives and businesses. he created the Coaching Prospertity School to assist coaches to build a strong practice and create great clients"

The Steve Chandler book I have, “Reinventing Yourself” was first published 15 years ago.

As Canfield and Chandler lead you on the journey to find your better self, I sense a difference in approach. Canfield, I sense, uses the push method, driving you to work on the processes. His writing sprouts a kind of energy that gets you thinking and working on ideas when you are reading it. Sometimes, I got carried away to proclaim lofty goals which, on later reflection are not what I really seek at this stage of my life. They would have been a great boost years ago when I was involved with selling.

Chandler’s style, to me, uses the pull method. His writing pulls you into introspection. Looking within to seek the answers to your questions. Reaching deep to extract the energy within you to fire up your life.

Expert Coaching on Self Improvement
Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash

Both are useful. While Canfield gets you to rewrite your software, Chandler gets you to turn on the internal switch, releasing new energy to run your software. Both are relevant aids to get you along the journey to discover the better version of yourself yet.

Safe Christmas.

Next post: My takeaway from “How to get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.

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