The world is opening up, coming out of hiding. The world is
restarting. You are being called back to work. You are restarting. But, are you
the same you, coming out of the hiding as the one who went in?
Do you know what happened to you in the lockdown? Do you? What
kind of question is that? Who knows about yourself better than you? Right? You
are so sure about yourself. You know your values. You will honor your values.
You will do the right thing. You will not do things that will harm you, or the
ones you love. You will do what’s good for you and those around you. Of course,
you are sure of yourself. Or, do you?
Too rich to fail?
“He stood perfectly still
like a statute of some classical God, his muscular tattooed arms and torso
flexed, the German defense trembling in his wake and the world at his feet.
This was Mario Balotelli in 2012. The
21-year-old wild child who was blessed with it all. He had just helped
Manchester City win the Premier League; now he had blasted Italy into the final of
the European Championship”
These words. A beautiful
tribute. From writer Adam Shergold, of the Daily Mail. About Mario Balotelli.
Who could have been amongst the world’s greats.
Unfortunately, the title of
the post gave everything away. It is a sad description. About the state of
Balotelli. Today.
“Mario Balotelli: the
decline and fall of a player who was destined to be world class but is now
unloved and unwanted.”
Of course. This is about
Mario Balotelli. The once prolific goal poacher with Manchester City. Who, when
he wanted, would get all the kudos for what he could do with his feet. And lots
of flak for what he could not do with his head.
He was getting all the
adoration for what he was doing on the pitch. And all the bad press for his off
the field antics.
He was getting so much heat.
That he used to lift his jersey after a goal, asking the question on his
undershirt, “Why always me?”
We are talking about a
footballer. A soccer player, if you are American.
But. Americans need not
bother with Balotelli. When you have Winona Ryder, Chris Brown, Lindsay Lohan
and Charlie Sheen. To name a few.
As an afterthought. In the
interview with People magazine in 2007. Ryder admitted, “The attention was
embarrassing.”
If embarrassment was the
price they paid for their indiscretions, it’s a bargain. It’s known well that
the well-knowns paid for their excursions with their reputation and lucrative
careers. All of the once noisily famous have slid into quiet anonymity.
These once blessed few may
have been pampered by life so lavishly that they thought they were too rich to
fail. They thought they knew themselves. They would do what was good for them.
Balotelli, specifically, probably failed to understand that his skills were
gifts. Gifts from hard work and training. That if you do not use them, thinking
that they will stay, thinking they are gifts from God, they are natural talents,
you will lose them. Even if you have done the 10,000 hours, you can only summon
the ingrained skills through intent and focus. Some fail to understand, your
reputation is what you do, not who you are. It’s as good as your next behavior.
You think you know yourself?
Would you be surprised that
they are surprised how they ended up? They thought they knew themselves. They
probably knew parts of themselves when they were ordinary. They did not take
into consideration the celebrity factor. They were in the limelight. They were
under the glares. There would be distractions. They were, I can only guess, distracted
from the core values which had put them on their pedestals.
What about you? Do you know
yourself? Do you know how to work with yourself? Are you paying attention to
the subtle changes forced by the months of fear, anxiety and domination by the
threat of Covid 19? Are you prepared for the new norm? You can follow the
social distancing guidelines when you restart work. You will be reminded to
wear the face mask when in close proximity, as in meetings. You learn to sing
two ‘Happy Birthday’ while washing your hands. You will press on the sanitizer
mindlessly and coat the liquid all over your hands and wrists.
Those are external SOPs
(Standard Operating Procedures). What about the internal SOPs? Will your brain tell
you it’s alright to be sloppy? It’s still pandemic time. It’s muck around time,
like it was in hiding. Will you miss the deadline? Will you be anxiously scanning around for
source of droplets? Not being focused. Uneasy. Will it be hard to regain the
exuberance without the announcement of a vaccine? Are worries about your loved
ones, who are somewhere else, weighing you down? Will you have an anxiety
attack, when the boss is around? His eyes scanning. You avoiding the scan. Is he
picking the next to let go?
Even before the pandemic,
are you sure you know how to work with yourself? If you do, what about the
projects which were never completed although you had a deadline to it? Why did you give them up when you started
gung ho? Or, the missed deadlines? Why
can’t you keep to your deadlines?
How about the time you thought what you were
doing would work and mid-way through the struggle, you were feeling almost
depressed? Feeling that it was not worth the effort. There was this time your
friends were excited with your plans and thought you would be the next big
thing, your excitement fizzled and you groveled to the ground? So you think it
is a natural thing to be able to work with yourself?
Okay. Okay, you know how to
work with yourself. No harm revisiting some strategies as you are restarting.
Eleanor. Roosevelt. She said the wisest thing. The master guide to work with
yourself. Listen to Eleanor: “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle
others, use your heart.” A never fail advice from the great lady. Think a
little on how to work with yourself. Towards a confident restart. Sustaining a
long and fruitful career.
1)Fine
tune the critical intangible you. You don’t have to reset. Just revisit. Unless
you feel a compelling need to do so.
Reflect
on your beliefs and values. Are they aligned for the situational demands? Review
your Life Purpose. Has your focus on life, its priorities changed? What do you
feel driven by, now? Set your goals. Work to clarity on what you want from your
life. What excites you now? What are you prepared to be, to do to get what you
want? Getting the want is the result of being and doing. Nothing materializes
until you become the person who deserves the spoils, immersed in the actions
that will take you to your wants. Most important; write it down to make it
happen! Once you have shaped your purpose and structure your goals, choose work
that supports living your purpose and achieving your goals. You may have to
reformat the way you work, not the work itself. You may have to reprogram how
you relate, now that shaking hands may be a taboo and hugging is not a longed
for comfort. Internally, you have to find cool in quite few changes.
2)Impregnate
yourself with the achiever’s mentality. I would re-read Denis Waitley’s “The
Psychology of Winning- Ten Qualities of a Total Winner.” This is a timeless gem
of a manual on how to transform yourself. On how to reclaim a winning mentality.
It has helped turned a teenage stuttering me with low self-confidence, to a
positive action based achiever of my goals. This book shouts, no it screams; “You
are worth it! Like yourself. Love yourself. Do not reject a positive
appreciation. You are worth it. Accept it. Just say thank you. Enjoy it. You
are worthy of the winning, the achieving and the rewarding.” Of course, today’s science based self-help may
say it is not that easy. Loving yourself may be crazy. William James is a human
science person. He is an often quoted psychologist. This is his famous finding,
“I don’t sing because I am happy, I am happy because I sing.” You have to sing
first, feel happy before you are happy. You have to believe that you are a
winner to go about winning. There are always contrarians. There are always
contrarians to contrarians. It never ends. Who’s work charged you up the last
time? Go back and recharge. There’s too much science into human beings nowadays.
We are probably mistaken for humachines. If human science is perfectly right,
there will be no human conflicts. Whatever you choose to do, get yourself
charged, positive and ready to tackle the new world. Specifically, the new
expectations.
3)Protect yourself from stinking thinking. Catch
negative language in your self-talk. Your mind is constantly chattering, about
what you can do, what you are incapable of doing. Constantly, telling you to
play safe, not to take risk and, at times belittling you to keep you from
trying. All in the name of good intention to protect you. A mind warp from the
days of our forefathers where danger lurk at every dark corner. To stop the
negative chatters, write the contents down, reframe them to positive. Reflect
on them and reword until you feel good. Feed the new tonic to your mind daily.
Safe keep the new ideal in the vault of your memory that it will be sprung up
automatically to overwhelm your negative chatterbox. In plain language, turn your negative self-talk
into positive script. Read them to as many times as it takes to replace the
self-defeating chatter. Shad Helmstetter’s “What to Say when you Talk with
Yourself” is an excellent book on the subject.
It's not what's happening
When
you are faced with real criticisms and cruel put downs, understand the
importance is not what is happening but how you respond to what is happening.
Are you going to let the criticisms and put downs shape you? Take legit input
for improvement, dismiss the rest as junk communications. Always work harder
for your positive self when you are working and thinking. Don’t get worked up
if a situation does not work for you. Step back. Feel compassion for yourself,
and others involved. Even if one is trying to screw you. That person suffers
from a malady. Be conscious of the root cause. Try to work around it. Regroup. Rethink.
Reframe. Try again. You do not want to be in a place with no problems. It’s
either six feet deep or in an urn.
4)Plan
your work and work your plan. Having a calm, confident inner self is foundation
for achievement. Getting tangible rewards require tangible effort. Plan to work
hard, smartly. Review your resources, time money and support. Plan your work
according to maximize the resources you have. The best approach is commit to
expectation and work to over deliver. This is not the same as sand
bagging.
Some
planning strategies:
a)
Know your sweet hours. Do you work better in the morning or afternoon? Get your best work done at the sweet hours.
b) Eat the elephant by parts. When faced with a
big task, do not attempt to do it all in one sitting. Spread the tasks by parts
and pause when you get a part done. Savor the win. Be conscious of your time
commit but do not defeat yourself with the impossible. Don’t set yourself up
for failure by stressing yourself to stupidity.
c)
Seek expertise When faced with a complex and
difficult job, look at breaking it down into smaller components. Delegate the
special tasks to specialists. Ask for help. Do not let the boss wait till the
end of the long journey for an update. Regular progress reports will save
everyone from surprises and save you from being forgotten. Each session will
help you get timely support and confirmation. Your performance is protected if
you do good work by the minutes of meetings.
d) Prioritize. Get the important things done
first. Give yourself a pat on the back. Give time to the urgent unimportant.
Protect yourself from distraction. Book your own calendar for the time you
need. When someone drops in as you are working, stand up. Walk out of the
office while continuing talking. End the conversation quickly if you feel you
are wasting time. But, politely. You can say you have a pressing deadline and
would certainly be interested to discuss at another time. If the person is
worth it, set an appointment. Extricate yourself by setting another time for
continued discussion. Tasks listed on to do list must be ones that help you
achieve your goals. Always let your boss and those around you know your work
prioritization plan. Remember, when assigning importance to your task list,
your boss and customers’ expectations are priorities.
e)
Be willing to share the spoils. When you know
you will be hard pressed to deliver a result within a certain time frame,
gather help. Be lavish with praise. Be generous with recognition. Be seen as a
success broker. People will follow your lead. Be known as an unselfish
colleague who is willing to share recognition. A recognition shared is better
than a recognition lost. However, the reward must be meaningful for all
involved. Even if unsolicited, send out a 360 feedback to your supporter’s
boss. In some companies there is a formal 360 process. It is gathering feedback
for annual performance review. Usually there is a standard format. If there is
none create one and use the tool consistently. Be known as a success broker.
The country has just reopened for business.
There is every opportunity to make today the first day of the rest of your
successful career. A better one than before we went into hiding from the
coronavirus. Put your mind and muscle to it. Again, stay safe. Stay healthy.